Audio Post

5 07 2011

“Fire Safe” Cigarettes Might Be Helping Me Quit…

5 07 2011
Smoking warning on a packet of cigarettes, Aus...

Image via Wikipedia

As much as it frustrates me that my cigarettes keep going out after not taking a drag for a whole 45 seconds, at least this way I’m only smoking about half or 3/4 of each cigarette. (I hate the way they taste when I have to relight them–even more than I hate the taste of them already.) I guess baby steps, right? Smoking only part of the cigarette each time? I have a pile of halves that I would only smoke if I was insanely desperate…not only are they ‘reburns’ which I hate to begin with, they are likely as stale as can get. I said the day before yesterday (might have posted it) that I was going to try to make what I had left in that last pack last a little while and make it my true LAST pack. I did make it last, I just smoked the last one late last night. And I think I did pretty good, making it last that long (it was only about a half pack when I made my declaration two days ago), and only smoking half to 3/4 of each one for almost all of them. However…about an hour after I finished the last one, which I smoked all of, I headed to the store (as predicted) to buy another pack. Had to return these jello cube things because the package was a little torn open on the back and a Starbucks vanilla energy drink that I got by accident instead of my Starbucks Vanilla Iced Latte (or whatever it’s called) in a bottle…anyway, there was some conversation about prices…we were buying one 2-liter of soda, which was on sale two for $2.50, but one rang up for $1.89 so I did the smart thing and got the second one for only 61 cents more and I had to get an extra Starbucks drink because they were on sale two for $4, but one was $2.89, so DUH! I got the second one. Anyway, long story short (funny how people, including me right now, say that after they’ve already told most of the story…LOL) I forgot to ask for cigarettes. I got back home and after putting the sodas and the extra Starbucks drink in the fridge, eating one of the jello cubes and realizing they were quite gross-and reading the package and seeing that they were sugar free…yuck! Sugar free jello! Then I went downstairs to put them in the fridge. (Hopefully my son will eat them, if not, someone will and they were only 99 cents for a pretty big package.)  Again, anyway, I realized that I forgot cigarettes. UGH! That was the whole reason I went out!!! I didn’t really feel like going out again, so I just decided to take drags off of the electronic cigarette and see how that went. Welllll…at about 5am, I went out for cigarettes and coffee. Great combo,  huh? I don’t want to smoke anymore!!!!! It’s almost 8am and I’ve only smoked one, so that’s good, and it was only about half since I sat it in the ashtray for the length it took me to reply to my friend’s text with ‘Call my house phone’, so naturally it went out. Which is what prompted me to write this post. So even though I did buy another pack after saying I wouldn’t…I did make a half pack last about two days, even with not always smoking the whole cigarette, and I went for hours with only drags off of the electronic cigarette, AND I’ve only had one cigarette (well, about half actually) in almost three hours….so, I think I’m doing fairly well. (If I haven’t already mentioned, I was smoking about a pack a day at the beginning of this blog-only a VERY short time ago-I think two weeks at most.) Ok, so that’s where I am right now with my quitting…so better, but not quite there yet…and I’m about to smoke one since talking about it is making the craving kick in hardcore. I’ve been craving one for most of writing this, but I wanted to finish this first so that I wouldn’t have to put it down while I typed, causing it to burn out. I want the whole thing dammit! (Yep, I’m doing great at quitting, huh?)

OH!! On a semi-related note, I was at a yard sale the other day and guess what I bought for 50 cents?? Some sort of holder thing (I’m not sure what it’s supposed to hold, or originally held, it’s a long-ish cylinder with a zipper all the way down it, about the size of a small umbrella when it’s closed-maybe it was an umbrella holder?) with freaking JOE CAMEL on each end!!! Both ends have a picture of Joe Camel and the Camel logo during that time. I haven’t done it yet, but I’m going to look on craigslist and ebay and see if anyone is buying Joe Camel stuff (you know, since it was banned and all that years ago) and if it’s selling for anything worth my time and effort, I’m going to sell it. If not, who cares? It was 50 cents and it’s kinda neat to have an original Joe Camel whatever…LOL! If I remember, I’ll take a picture of it and post it to this article later. Or maybe to my next one…that way you won’t have to keep checking back if you are interested in seeing it to see if I’ve posted it yet. Anyway, time to go…my cigarette just started calling me again.

Until next time…


Yep, gonna try it again.

4 07 2011

I’m savoring my last pack of cigs. I’m NOT going to buy anymore. If I want a cig after these are gone, I will have to take a few drags off of the electronic one. (Just so you know, I’ll probably be out buying a pack tomorrow. At least I’m honest.)

Not Going So Well…

29 06 2011

I’m still smoking. Hate it. Sucks. Sooo done. So why can’t I quit?

Day 1 of Journaling It

27 06 2011

Still smoking. I’ve switched to a brand I don’t like…not that it matters much, I didn’t much like my regular brand anymore anyway. They all taste nasty and stink to me. I’m freaking smoking one of the nasty suckers right now. It’s so gross. I don’t even enjoy smoking like I used to. But it’s like I have to have it. If I’m stressed, if I’m talking on the phone, if I’m writing on the computer, if I’m in the car…the list goes on. I’ve tried using dum-dum lollipops as a substitute, but they do no good. I have the electronic cigarette, but that just seems to make me want a real cigarette even more. UGH!!!

Here I Go Again…

27 06 2011

I started smoking at age 13 (yep, 13, it was a small town in the country and that was pretty much the norm), so I’ve been smoking for 21 years. I quit when I was pregnant with my daughter (age 20), but on the way home from the hospital after she was born, I stopped for a pack of cigarettes. Then I quit again 3 years later when I was pregnant with my son and stayed off of the cig for about 6 more months. I started having a drag off of my husband’s cigarette, since I would go out onto the balcony with him while he smoked, and it just took off from there. I was back to full on smoking. Then about three years ago, I quit again. Cold turkey. Had the patch but only used it for one day, had an emergency pack of cigarettes which I never opened and gave away three months later. But about six months into that quit, I started having those social cigarettes again with my brother and friend. My daughter warned me. She told me not to do it, that it would lead to me smoking again. But I knew better. I knew I could have one here and there and it wouldn’t be a problem. But it was a problem and I was quickly back to full on smoking. Now I hate smoking. It tastes horrible. It stinks. It’s bad for my health. I’m so done. But I can’t quit. I’ve tried it all…patches, gum, lozenges, cold turkey, electronic cigarettes, tapering, buying cigarettes that I don’t like (that’s what I’m doing right now), etc…but nothing is working. So I’m going to keep this journal of how my efforts are going and maybe get some suggestions on how to help.

Here goes!